RSS

Monthly Archives: November 2014

‘Twas the Night Before Tuesday – A Poem about Ferguson

‘Twas the Night Before Tuesday – A Poem about Ferguson

Twas the night before Tuesday
and all through the streets,
every news network was stirring
with smartphones, and iPads, and pointless Tweets.

My white children were all settled in bed.
While visions of actual justice danced in their heads.
My wife in the bed & I on the sofa
had just turned on CNN because Monday Night Football was ovah.

Out in the midwest there arose such a clatter.
I sat on my ass and watched the whole matter.
Away to the internet I alt-tabbed in a flash.
I threw open the Facebook, the Twitter, new ‪#‎hash‬.

The floodlights on the haze of new fallen smoke
gave the lustre of Bill Maher or Snoop Dog taking a toke.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear!?
Nothing but reporters talking right out of their rear.

A looter, a runner,
Anderson Cooper and Blitzer.
Things burning, on fire
It’s all in the shitter!
From the voice of the SWAT team
To the warning from cops.
Dash away! Dash away!
You’re gonna get shot!

Then in an update I thought was a spoof.
The auto parts store had gone up in a poof!
As I went to the fridge and was turning around
down the street came cops in armored vehicles abound!

They were all dressed in body armor from head to foot.
I heard the stomping and tromping of each little boot.
A bundle of surplus military gear on their back
they looked like soldiers prepared to attack.

Their guns how they twinkled. The violence so scary.
The blue lights were merry. The reds like a cherry.
Anderson’s stoic mouth drawn up like a bow.
The hair on his head as white as the snow.
The fires did burn and spat out the ash.
But the news still had commercials ’cause “We gotta earn cash.”

The chief of police was a jolly old elf.
All callous and righteous and sure of himself.
A wink of his eye & a nod of his head
is all you would see when ‘klansman’ was said.

They spoke not a word and went right to work.
The armored cars tore down the street with a jerk.
And laying their fingers aside of the triggers
They were gonna have to shoot a whole bunch of [PEACE-LOVING RESIDENTS OF FERGUSON, MISSOURI]

They sprang into action and fired a flash.
The people did scatter from a can of tear gas.
But I heard them exclaim as they ran out of sight.
“I’m against violence, but I’m LOOTIN’ TONIGHT!”

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 25, 2014 in Journal

 

Tags: ,

Too Many Cooks is One of the Most Creative Things on Recent TV

Title Screen

Title Screen

A few weeks ago Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network aired a continuous 1970 – 1990’s sitcom intro spoof for a show called Too Many Cooks. The 12 minute bit was hidden in your program guide as Off-Air. As I sit typing this I’ve caught another installment called ‘Nature’, but that’s another post. You should watch it too.

Too Many Cooks was a creative, return to the hilarious, surreal genre that began with ‘Space Ghost: Coast-to-Coast’ in the 1990s. Adult Swim started a string of hilarious bizarre comedies, but as it grew in popularity [AS] had devolved into live-action satire of major networks, and 2-3 hours of Seth McFarlane reruns. Shows that are at best retreads of old jokes and just references to pop-culture.

There were higher quality shows in terms of production value, but it didn’t feature the ‘out-there’ content that I had always loved. If I wanted higher quality shows I wouldn’t be watching Cartoon Network. It’s an off-shoot network of TBS that was created because Ted Turner bought a variety pack of bankrupt media outlets like I buy variety packs of cereal. Ted ate up all the Cheerios, Raisin Bran, and Frosted Flakes of media, and was left with a box of Lucky Charms. And so the Cartoon Network was born. I digress.

Space Ghost, Harvey Birdman, AQTHF, and The Venture Bros. had sadly become a bunch of Comedy Central comics making fun of the studios and networks where they all were trying to get jobs. They have some funny episodes, but it’s not great comedy to reverse-engineer the boring cop/legal/medical/political dramas on the major networks. I forgot about Adult Swim for a few years.

By sheer luck I found Too Many Cooks, part of Adult Swim’s Off-Air, and I’m happy I did. It starts out just paroding the classic 1970-90s sitcoms, but it becomes so much more. I’m never going to re-watch an episode of CSI, Scandal, or even watch them once. And I’m not going to watch or re-watch their parodies. However I just found myself re-watching ‘Too Many Cooks’ and then analyzing the video. All of which has caused me to produce this post. Must be some quality in that.

If you want to see a bad case of over-analyzing go check out what the New Yorker had to say.

In an era of ‘journalism’ being a four-sentence blog post that links to another ‘article’ which is nothing but a link or in-line YouTube video, Too Many Cooks demonstrates creating something new is the only way to inspire people to create on their own.

“Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

too-many-cooks-Window

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on November 22, 2014 in Live Action, Reviews

 

Tags: , , ,

Video Analysis of the Serial Killer on ‘Too Many Cooks’

Video Analysis of the Serial Killer on ‘Too Many Cooks’

The Question
The serial killer is usually noticed after 2 or 3 minutes into the video. So when does he first appear? And how many times is he in the 12 minute bit?

Notes Before We Begin:
You need to watch ‘Too Many Cooks’ to know what the hell is going on.
A hard cut between character credits counts as a separate appearance. Something where he’s changed kill targets or activities.

Notable Appearances
He first can be seen at :21 seconds. Takes a good eye. I caught it the fourth time through when counting.
He doesn’t make his first kill until his eleventh appearance!
His 16th appearance is the chase scene at 4:45 where climbs out from under the bed while the sequence is paused. This is the chase scene. It only counts as one appearance because he is doing the same thing (chasing the girl) for this scene.
21st appearance he takes over the show. He’s on-screen 5 different times inside this section.

  • Standing in the bedroom
  • Peeking in the window
  • Topless in the bedroom
  • Getting a foot out of the oven
  • Having some guests for dinner (GET IT!?)

27th appearance is where his head is on the space ship firing LAZER BEEMZ!

He makes 20 separate appearances ending with being the ‘dad’ at the center of the final family photo.
There are 24 appearances if you include the 4 times with just machete chops and the one where a body is being dragged off the screen. 29 if you separate the appearances when he has taken over the show.

Read my thoughts on Adult Swim’s ‘Off-Air’ episodes & ‘Too Many Cooks’

Timestamps of Appearances (approx.)

too-many-cooks-creepy-killer

  1. :21 – background right, that’s him in the sweater, faceless
  2. :30 – background stairs
  3. 1:14 – behind kid, faceless
  4. 1:37 – left, looking in cabinet
  5. 1:54 – background office ‘worker’
  6. 2:04 – far left, behind wall
  7. 2:24 – background stairs
  8. 3:02 – over cop’s left shoulder
  9. 3:16 – behind cop: This is the first obvious appearance.
  10. 3:40 – animated
  11. 4:14 – KILL 1, faceless
  12. 4:18 – KILL 2, from behind curtain
  13. 4:23 – KILL 3, tennis court
  14. 4:31 – KILL 4, parking garage
  15. 4:34 – KILL 5, drowning in sink
  16. 4:45 – from underneath bed: BEGIN chase scene
    5:38 – KILL 7: END chase scene – Counts as one appearance
  17. 6:07 – KILL 8, machete chop to super heroine, faceless
  18. 6:13 – KILL 9, beheads superhero, faceless
  19. 6:31 – KILL 10, machete chop to detective, faceless
    6:36 – head in the sink, but we don’t see the killer at all or any actions – NOT COUNTED
  20. 6:40 – KILL 11, body dragged away, unseen
  21. 6:44 – dancing in Bedroom – BEGIN Serial Killer’s show takeover
  22. 6:49 – peeping Tom
  23. 6:51 – topless, peeping Tom still in background
  24. 6:56 – cooking foot
  25. 7:04 – having guests for dinner (Fava beans & a nice Chianti not pictured.)
  26. 7:48 – on video screen
  27. 8:04 – spaceship
  28. 8:15 – machete space troops (There are 13-14 clones of him.)
  29. 10:41 – Dad in photo after flash
 
1 Comment

Posted by on November 22, 2014 in Live Action, Reviews

 

Tags: , , , , ,